Valentine's for Haters
Cupid let you down this year? Sick and tired of that emotional landmine of a Holiday? Rejoice, there is merch for you!
The Anti Valentine’s Pinata
Love has left you with nothing but the bitter taste of regret? The Rolls Royce of "Love Sucks" statements, available at Oriental Trading, at $12.98 cheaper than a wilted bouquet of Bodega roses.
Nope Tote Bag
Not. One. More. Soul-crushing. Tinder Fail. ...for you? Grab this tote bag from Gemma Correll at Society6, available in three sizes, depending on your level of despair. Starting at $22.
Nasty Candy Sugar Hearts
Is it time to make sure that admirer doesn’t get his or her's hopes up? Reject anyone on a deeply personal level by putting the writing on the wall or on a tiny candy. Sugar wafer giant Necco will custom print your message for you.
Passive - aggressive Dinner Plate
Is it me? Is it you? Serve up some truth with these fine vintage ceramic plates from the Netherlands. Studio Froezel, Etsy, $13.99
Fortune Teller Skull
Statistically, finding your soul mate is almost impossible but it is certain your ex will do it before you - so get this extremely accurate Ouija (life-sized) Fortune Teller Skull to predict exactly when the calamity is going to occur. $19.99 at What-on-earth-catalogue
Sterling Silver Signet Ring
Have you, dear gentle reader, tasted the sting of betrayal? Let this classy ring from Nora Kogan Brooklyn to commemorate that special heartbreaker in all the beautiful colors of the rainbow. Hand painted enamel silver ring, $ 180
Fight the icy chill of your ex's stone cold heart with this lyrical fluffy Hoody from Awkward Cupid, $44